my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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