Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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