plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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