White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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