You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize