She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
