elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She bit a glass in half.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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