So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
