You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
