I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
