From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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