Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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