dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My feet surprised me
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