Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I will pee on everything he values.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
