Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
