Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
