in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
