Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
