your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
