Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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