i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
