it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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