I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i think i just lost a toe
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
