um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
