her vagine was all disorganized.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
