why didn't you poke me back
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
