...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
