Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
