This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
