Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
