if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
