Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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