So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
