if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
