he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i think i just lost a toe
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
