I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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