No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
