I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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