I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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