She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
