apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize