she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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