Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
