We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
