If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
