Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
