Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
