it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Randomize
