There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
