I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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