May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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