She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
