So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I would ride that face into the sunset
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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