It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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