found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
