a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
