guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
